What if, anything, gives you hope in 2020?
The ability to walk again using both of my feet sparks hope in my eyes, as bright as the children’s eyes, as beautiful as the blooming roses. Surviving from my ability to walk, autoimmune, tumors, physical abuse, and immense loneliness after being left by almost everyone, I thank a lot to the universe for opening my eyes.
On a random gloomy day, I received a text from an old friend that I did not interact for almost 15 years. It feels like a glimpse of happiness I got from thinking about being in my dream place. I always remember her with a smile. It is because of my gratitude to know a beautiful soul in this cruel world.
She is still the same warm person I knew since 15 years ago. In my setbacks after setbacks, I push people away, including her. I was not conscious that I also did that to her. I welcomed her with the grumpy and upset face, only to ask: “Aren’t you afraid of me?”
Allah’s mercy is wonderful. It’s more beautiful than I could ever imagine. I never thought that she will reply with a loving smile and warm words, no judgment, and no hate. “You are the same Pinkie that I knew 15 years ago. I know you very much and I trust you, that’s why I am here.” God, I can feel her pure heart.
I was confused by her reactions and I suddenly became quiet, really quiet. She asked again, “In 30 years, how many times did you experience a rock bottom?” I said twice and this moment was the worst. She replied, “Only twice in 30 years? Then, there is nothing wrong with you. You are very strong, brave, and kind-hearted, Pinkie.”
Days after days, she came to me, helped me moved my feet to go somewhere, cheered me up, smiled a lot to me, cooked for me, made me tea, or any other homemade foods that I already forgot the name. I don’t know what to say, but probably this is the best gift I ever received in my life.
“Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.” — (Ash-Sharh: 94)
Suddenly, things change. There is a hope that appears just like how children speak about their dream that makes their eyes turn bright and makes everything seems possible more than magical. The hope that all of us need.
Everyone is fighting a battle that no one knows behind the curtain. The least we can do for people is to be kind – the kindness that will always assume the highest positive thoughts about other people.
In this life, we will hate the rock bottom, but we will exhale gratitude if we accept them gracefully. After reaching that level, we will feel like breathing fresh oxygen that brings us hope and makes us relieved.
Thank you, 2019, for teaching me many profound lessons.